One of the most basic human needs in addition to survival is to feel safe. Of course, the two go hand-in-hand. But how often in our lives do we really feel safe? Feeling safe There are many benefits of feeling safe and secure, with the first one being your body’s … Read More
No matter how many parts of my life were good, I was stuck in thinking about what I didn’t have and what could be better. It seemed to me that almost everyone else had more money, a happier family, better athletic skills and the list was endless. In retrospect, it’s … Read More
I have long asked the spouses/ partners of my chronic pain patients to participate in the DOC project (“Direct your Own Care”—my step-by-step method that allows patients to take control of their treatment plan). One reason is that partners of chronic pain patients also experience suffering—they have their own broken … Read More
Many years ago I was involved with helping a young friend, Larry, in his 20’s deal with a difficult legal situation involving drugs. He was a great kid and had ended up associating with friends who were on a path to hell. His father was also incredibly critical of every … Read More
I am noticing a pattern that seems to be quite common. People in pain control others around them – especially their close family members. I have not had the chance to research the literature but it is becoming increasingly clear how devastating chronic pain is not only to the patient … Read More
Bullying bothers me–a lot. When I was in middle school and high school, I was very fortunate in that I was not a target of bullying. However, I have watched dozens of friends and family come under attack from bullies. The results are often devastating. No part of bullying is … Read More
Chronic pain is dangerous Chronic pain is dangerous. When you are trapped by anything in life, especially pain, you’ll become angry. When you’re angry, everything is completely about you and your efforts to escape. You can no longer see the needs of those around you, much less respond to them. … Read More
I was raised in a chaotic household. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive. It was confusing for me to feel like I had a mother who would do anything for her family and then, within seconds, watch her unpredictably fly into a rage lasting several days. From a young child’s … Read More
I was raised in an abusive household and living that life seemed normal because it was all that I knew. I was truly a victim, but I didn’t know it at the time. It was only through extensive counseling that I realized I was continuing to play that role. It is … Read More