Pain = Frustration. In the presence of unrelenting pain this frustration can be intense. Anger is a survival reaction and it is only about your needs. You become disconnected from subtle cues in your immediate surroundings and your awareness goes to zero. Lack of awareness is the essence of abuse. Although you … Read More
One of the most basic human needs in addition to survival is to feel safe. Of course, the two go hand-in-hand. But how often in our lives do we really feel safe? Feeling safe There are many benefits of feeling safe and secure, with the first one being your body’s … Read More
Any business of that consists of more than one person involves creating a legally binding contract that spells out the expected responsibilities of each party, distribution of the rewards, and assumption of liabilities. The ultimate business is that of marriage or being legally bound together defined by time. It is … Read More
Over the last several years, it has become apparent that family dynamics are a major factor in perpetuating or solving chronic pain. I am on a continual journey to learn more about these forces. At one of my annual spine society meetings, I became involved in a conversation with three colleagues … Read More
For some, the holidays are synonymous with a strong sense of familial closeness and love. However, this is not the case with many family gatherings, where relatives trigger each other, and chaos quickly ensues. If this describes your experience with the holidays, then this article is for you. I’ll … Read More
During the last few years of practice, our team became extremely aware of the effect of chronic pain on the family and the family dynamics around pain. When a patient is in a survival mode, he or she loses awareness of the needs of those close to them. Conversely, the … Read More
“I am asking you to not give ANY advice to any member of your family for the next month and hopefully indefinitely; especially your children.” This is the foundation of creating functional family dynamic, especially with those dealing with chronic pain. Chronic pain takes a terrible toll on families. People … Read More
My wife and I were at a wedding this weekend. The bride was the daughter of some of our closest friends. She and her new husband are a wonderful couple. The excitement and energy around supporting them in their new venture together was electric. Their commitment to each other was … Read More
It is becoming increasingly clear that chronic pain has a tremendous impact on your immediate family. One of the more direct ways is through mirror neurons. I frequently tell my patients that when you smile at a baby the reason the baby smiles back is not because the baby is … Read More
I have long asked the spouses/ partners of my chronic pain patients to participate in the DOC project (“Direct your Own Care”—my step-by-step method that allows patients to take control of their treatment plan). One reason is that partners of chronic pain patients also experience suffering—they have their own broken … Read More