Once you have a clear idea of the depth of your anger and your role of being a victim, make a simple decision to not be a victim anymore.

  • Write down, “I choose not to be a victim.”  Date it and put it in a place you will see it on a daily basis.
  • It is an intellectual choice
  • You will repeatedly fail
  • Commit to being honest with yourself
  • Using reprogramming tools are mandatory—your intellect cannot contain your level of frustration associated with being in chronic pain

Quit “trying”

  • “I will try” is the ultimate victim phrase.
  • Write “try” on a piece of paper, “X” it out, and hang it on your refrigerator.
  • Write the word “Do” on another piece of paper and hang it on your bathroom mirror.  (Concept from the Hoffman Process)

Awareness of your victimhood

You will not succeed at this step until you can understand that you, along with every human being, spend a lot of time in the victim mode. For many of us it is the baseline we were raised in, so how can we recognize it?

I made my choice to no longer be a victim on Mother’s Day 2002. It is still a daily challenge but my life took a dramatic turn out of the abyss that day.


Listen to the Back in Control Radio podcast Litigation: Choose Not to Be a Victim.