I have observed from my personal experience and others, that anger drives depression. It is not great to have down a day, but when you start feeling sorry for yourself, the problem dramatically worsens. The anger cascade is:
- Circumstance – real or perceived
- Blaming yourself or the situation
- Victim role
- Anger/ frustration
The worst manifestation of this sequence is your perfectionistic self-critical voice that has no limits to blaming.
It is also becoming increasingly clear that anger, anxiety, and depression are inflammatory states, and your hypersensitive brain is not working correctly. Unfortunately, this scenario also blocks clear thinking, learning new information, and acquiring calming skills.
Choices
Life not only has many ups and downs, but there are times when you are on the “bottom.” Often, there is little choice. The question is what are you going to do while you are there, and how long do you wish to remain? Believe it or not, there are options.
These two videos illustrate approaches that help you to not be pulled in deeper. Being down is a part of life. Depression does not have to be.
“The Bottom” was written and produced my nephew, Alex Hanscom. Paradoxically, the less you fight being there, the more energy you have to free yourself.
The pufferfish is also on the “bottom” but doesn’t know it. He simply goes about his business.
Healing occurs with connection – to every aspect of you and your circumstances whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. When you fight negativity, you’ll not only burn up a lot of energy, but it will also drive you into the ground.
Paradoxically, as you quit fighting darkness, you’ll connect to deep healing. Your body knows how to heal. You can’t accomplish this just by positive thinking or mind over matter. What you resist will persist. Skills are presented in The DOC Journey course and app. Learning these concepts requires about 10-20 minutes a day and the rest of the day is for practicing your skills.
Allowing yourself to feel is the opposite of pursuing self-esteem. This article discusses this concept in detail. “Feeling” is at the core of connecting and healing – that means feeling everything. Paradoxically, as unpleasant thoughts and emotions loosen their grip, you can move on.