Stressed businessman after business project failure, covering eyes in despair and hand gesturing stop to camera.

As has been discussed many times on this website pain circuits are permanent and part of the unconscious part of your brain. There is nothing you can do to “fix” them. Any attention paid to them simply reinforces them. That includes trying not trying to pay attention to them. The key is to calm down and shift your nervous system on to non-pain circuits. There are strategies that stimulate the brain to change its structure. The descriptive term for this process is neuroplasticity. This includes growing new nerve cells, increasing the number of connections between the neurons, and increasing the amount of myelin, which improves conduction. Solving the Unsolvable

Reinforcing pathways

One behavior that reinforces the pain circuits is discussing your pain experience with almost anyone who will listen. You are simply placing your attention on the pain and reinforcing these circuits. Not only are your pain circuits being strengthened, but you are spending less attention on enjoyable and creative experiences. Another way of reinforcing them is endlessly seeking a cure for your pain. This is completely understandable, and why wouldn’t you? Pain has consumed your life. However, your pain is running the show and your focus is on fixing the pain. It is critical to move forward and live your life on your terms regardless of the level of your pain. It is paradoxical.




Social isolation

Complaining also drives others away and social isolation is common. You now have more time to spend on your pain circuits. It has been demonstrated in several studies that the same part of the brain is active in people who are socially isolated as in chronic pain. Being alone is a painful experience. (1) Begin your healing journey at home

Shared suffering

The other problem is that many people you do connect with is through the common bond of pain and suffering. Relating to people by complaining is not a great way to create rich and fulfilling relationships. Do you enjoy being around negativity? How do you think others feel about being around you when you are in a bad mood? 

Several research papers have documented that belonging to a fibromyalgia support group or diligently keeping a pain diary is a predictor of a poor prognosis for healing. It is felt that the format might encourage interaction in a way that reinforces each other’s suffering. (2)

One metaphor to consider is that of diverting a river into a different channel. Although you can’t control your unconscious brain you can direct it in whatever direction you choose. Choose to move onward.




Not sharing your pain-Omega

Listen to the Back in Control Radio podcast The Role of the Family in Solving Chronic Pain


  1. Eisenberger N, et al. “Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion.” Science (2003); 290.
  2. Ferrari R and Deon Louw. “Effect of a pain diary use on recovery from acute whiplash injury: a cohort study.” Biomed & Biotechnol (2013); 14: 1049-1053.