Any time you are angry, you are playing the role of a victim. So trace it backwards. Use the following format.
Step one—identifying your role as a victim
- What person or circumstance is upsetting me?
- Acknowledge that you are blaming that person or situation for making you angry.
- Write or speak out loud to yourself, “I blame ___________ for making me upset.
- Understand that you are now in the role of a victim.
- Write or speak that I am allowing myself to be a victim of ________________.
- Differentiate clearly in your own mind whether:
- You’re truly being victimized
- Your belief that you’re being victimized is based on a false perception, story, image, etc. in your mind?
- Note how much more difficult it will be to process the anger if you have been truly victimized.
- Obviously your chronic pain will be high on the list. Do not let it get in the way of identifying the multitude of other ways you might be playing the role.