Choose Not to Be a Victim
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Once you have a clear idea of the depth of your anger and your role of being a victim, make a simple decision to not be a victim anymore. Write down, “I choose not to be a victim.”  Date it and put it in a place you will see it … Read More

Admit Your Victimhood
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IDENTIFY YOUR OWN VICTIM ROLE—IT IS UNIVERSAL What person or circumstance is upsetting me?  Be specific. Acknowledge that you are blaming that person or situation for making you angry. Write or speak out loud to yourself, “I blame ___________ for making me upset. Understand that you are now in the role of a victim. Write or speak that I … Read More

Perfectionism—The Ultimate Victim Role
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Perfectionism is an additional—and perhaps less examined— way that people play the victim. Many view perfection as the standard that must be reached in order to be successful. It’s held up as a virtue in all aspects of our lives, especially in professional and vocational endeavors. We feel pressure from … Read More

My Victimhood
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I was raised in an abusive household and living that life seemed normal because it was all that I knew. I was truly a victim, but I didn’t know it at the time. It was only through extensive counseling that I realized I was continuing to play that role. It is … Read More

Advantages of Victimhood–No one Believes You
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Without an obvious source of pain, patients eventually feel that no one believes that they have pain. It is an endless source of frustration and you are a legitimate victim. But, inadvertently, you are placed in a powerful victim role. The Cry of Chronic Pain Not only did I believe … Read More

Anger/Victim with Worker’s Comp
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There is a “genealogy” of frustration/anger. It is: Circumstance Blame Victim Frustration/Anger There are two types of “victimhood”: Perceived                                                               … Read More

The Bidirectional Interaction between Resilience and Your Immune System
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This blog is based on a review paper written by Dr. Robert Dantzer that discusses how resilience and immunity influence each other. (1) It is a bi-directional relationship in that poor adaptive skills stimulate the immune system; and a fired up immune system makes it harder to deal with stress. … Read More

Anger and Illness–Cause and Effect
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Tom’s original story was one that I never thought was possible. He recounts his journey of undergoing 28 surgeries over 22 years in this blog. His is among many stories that has shown me that the body has a powerful capacity to heal if we can just get out of … Read More

Three Aspects of Processing Anger
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This aspect of The DOC (Direct your Own Care) Journey is by far and away the most critical leg. I hear a similar story over and over and over again, “”Who would have thought it was the anger?”, or “I didn’t realize I was so angry.” Then it is inspiring … Read More

Negative Messages to Your Brain
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I spent a day with Bruce Lipton, a cell biologist and author of a best-selling book, The Biology of Belief. One of his major points regarding the function of the nervous system is that 95% of our nervous system is functioning from the unconscious aspect of it and only 5% … Read More

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